【小蓝的lonely planet 】

不要问我从哪里来。我的故乡在远方。在那遥远的地方,有位好姑娘^_^
我的摄影网站:http://www.winterblu.com

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Don't leave,pleas stay.    -[梦呓─Deamer]
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5 years ago ,When I and Emma were on the way to Tibet (we went by hitch hiking almost 10 days to arrive in Lasha),Once we had stayed in Dali for a couple of days,that's a small ancient town and full of backpackers from all over the world.We alway went to a small cafeteria and the owner has a 4 years old mixed-blood boy called Kevin,the last day I went there to say goodbye.But Kevin said"I don't want ",we asked---'you don't want to say goodbye,or you don't want us to leave?" Kevin said"I don't want you to leave,please stay"So cute!!!

Then a friend who stood beside smiled and said"hey,girls,you know,during the whole way to Tibet,I am sure there are a lot of people want you to stay there and don't leave'

That's true,we met a lot of interesting people on the road and almost everyone wanted us to stay and don't leave.Some stories and finally we leave and kept walking on.Although someone was still in my mind,but we're just a passer-by.

The principle on the road,the first rule should be"don't contact with each other after the trip" that he or she could just be your great memory and never fade out.

Once I and he sat in front of DaZHAO temple who is the most famous one in tibet,we promised that when we leave tibet,we will delete each's number and be strangers forever.

About 10 years on the road,there are a hug number of passers-by in my life:)they only left many stories and one word "don't leave".

Few month ago I went back to my hometown,I really felt happy since I was involved in so many loves,from family,from friends,everyone said "please come back,we all miss you,please stay and don't leave"

In the airport I was looking at my friend's back and really felt sad.There are so many love that can't make me stay,maybe because all the cities are too small and my dream is so wild.

A friend sang a song for me ,the lyric is"I meant to rove everywhere that nobody should be my  concern"--Vagrants' hearts belong to nobody,it's full of dreams and no space for anyone.

Sometimes I really feel guilty to my parents,but I really don't know what's the difference between 'selfish' and 'Self- sacrifice’.Maybe I am quit selfish.

3 years life in italy.and finally you know I will leave.no concern and no pain.I don't know where is my future,but that must be far far away.Distance is always my belief.Don't say don't leave,we will meet somewhere.Keep walking and keep your head up:)

There is a chinese folk song singing---far far away,there is a nice girl....:P

Posted by  at  2011-04-09 10:26:00 | Read More  |  Edit | Comments(0) | Trackback(0)


忍耐    -[梦呓─Deamer]
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这三年。在欧洲的生活。我领悟最深刻的事情是:忍耐。

听梁静茹版本的《掌声响起来》,这个版本她是带着哭腔唱的

”我的心中有无限感慨/多少青春不在/多少情怀已更改....经过多少失败/经过多少等待/告诉自己要忍耐"

告诉自己要忍耐。嗯。为来将来,我们一直在死撑。

只是,有的时候我真的撑不下去了。。。。。

Posted by  at  2011-02-22 06:46:00 | Read More  |  Edit | Comments(4) | Trackback(0)


untittle    -[梦呓─Deamer]
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Hold on, let go, never sure 

Pretty faces around but not right 

Don't cry, won't cry, I won't cry 

Be with you I just close my eyes 

So far away I can hardly make you mine 

So long the day you were always on my mind 

But in my dreams never try to hold you tight 

Don't want awake find you ain't here by my side 

Posted by  at  2010-11-24 07:35:00 | Read More  |  Edit | Comments(1) | Trackback(0)


fragment of memory    -[梦呓─Deamer]

Fabian说他常常想起那一年我在杭州的家里给他们泡茶喝。我说你是记得那套复杂的茶具么,他说,还有那张木头的桌子。

记忆总是以零星的面目出现和交叠,我们会忘记很多曾经以为至关重要的大事情,过了很久却会对某个毫无关联的细枝末节印象久远。像是一片一片被打碎的玻璃的碎片,用它的棱边插在记忆的罅隙里,用这样的方式,把我们缺失的空白填满,我们遗失的是一大段一大段的整块的记忆,而那些碎片却以劫后余生的方式安插在角落里,提醒我们按图索骥联想起那些被我们遗弃的记忆。fabian说诡异的是,人们常常对同一种体验有着不一样的记忆。我说,因为记忆本身就是主观的,当时过境迁,记忆就不再是客观事实,而变成了只属于我们自己个体的特殊存在。他说,就好像你的作品,讲述的只是主观的色彩和记忆。呵,我想,从这个角度说,我传承的是印象派的作风,就是印象,以及,记忆混杂着主观感受而拼凑起来的幻象,所以我很少拍太过于抽象的东西而都是具像的,我想表达的是,记忆本身已经是抽象的碎片,更需要一个客观主体做为存在过的根据去解释这种现实和主观印象的巨大反差,不然,我们根本握不住它们。客观的具像物体,他们没有记忆,他们本身就是记忆。

这是一种通感和联想的能力,你会从一片云的形状联想起某一种气味,某个在空荡荡走廊里回响着的声音,某个人拖长了嘶哑的嗓子而发出的难听的声音。其实美是没有标准的,太过于美丽的东西让人记不住,能记住的都是具备识别性的尽管诡异,让人愉悦或者不愉悦的东西,Impressive,这是我对于美的标准,它留下了印象,留下了大段记忆被打碎之后成为某一个碎片独立存在的可能性,尖锐而突兀地保存下来。

我的记忆会很奇怪,我至今想起维也纳,想起的是Maksim弹奏的Tango in ebomy的旋律,尽管维也纳和Tango一点关系也没有。那天在万圣节的派对上听到poker face(尽管这歌很恶俗),我却空白了几秒之后想到的是在prague的日子。我对布拉格到底发生了什么印象全无,却在歌曲的前奏里想到的是伏尔塔瓦河边潮湿的深秋树林,和我们满大街找一家小酒馆时候青石板路上晕开来的浓得化不开的秋天的凛冽。尽管这歌很恶俗,我却在乱哄哄的舞会里意识到原来我深爱着这个城市。深入骨髓的热爱,或者我深爱的是秋天的布拉格。你对一个城市的印象也许会因为很久之后在记忆里残存的那个碎片因此而有着推翻全局的看法,这个impressive的点来的很诡异,比如我会因为在慕尼黑的森林里在黑暗中走路那种压抑得窒息感让我对这个城市有了本能的恐惧。也会在我摔倒在了布拉提斯拉发的机场让我发誓再也不回那个地方。我对波兰的印象占了主体的居然是我每天清晨去墓地数那些墓碑上的年龄的记忆。如果找不到任何一片impressive的碎片,那些我就lost了对于那个城市的特殊记忆。变成毫无根据的幻觉,只有帐单和照片提醒我好像我去过那里。一个在派对上认识的荷兰男生在凌晨五点的时候问我要不要出去走走,他说,因为我几个小时就要离开这个城市,而且我害怕我不会再来这个城市,所以我想留下一些记忆。你能理解我为什么现在不想睡了么。尽管我觉得他动机不纯没有出去,可是我理解这句谎话。在我构思的那个小说里,写到一个旅人在离开某个城市的最后一夜,试图在大街上寻找到一张可以记得住的脸,因此他就一片impressive的碎片,他就可以因此记得住这个城市。

我无法控制我记忆对于那些碎片的筛选,它们自然而然在大片的记忆褪色之后自然浮现。年初的冬天去德国,那片碎片是我们时隔一年再次见面的时候,在雪地里我们沉默对视,然后他说,我一切都没有变,只是比去年你见到我的时候老了一点。我当时没有留意这句话,可是当事人无意的一句话,一个动作,却因为某种在我记忆里的建立,成为一种诡异的残存,从而变成客观事实模糊之后所留下的印象。而这个印象变成了我记忆的主体。

Posted by  at  2010-11-02 17:41:00 | Read More  |  Edit | Comments(0) | Trackback(0)


lonely planet    -[梦呓─Deamer]
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我们有的contact:

blog(我有的就有blogbus,blogcn,msn space....)

个人网站

facebook

校内

开心

微薄

twitter

QQ

MSN

Skype

Email

google reader

myspace

豆瓣

Linkedin

flickr

当然还有手机(我有多少个号码?呃,在意大利两个,中国号码一个)

还有一大堆帐号,比如vimeo,youtube,天涯,土豆....

.....

奇幻的是,我一个人都没有少。奇幻的是,我还常常感觉到没有人和我说话。那些都只是contacts on the lists.

人们的沟通还是那么无力和苍白。虽然你很容易找到某个人。可是你真正想找的人却还是找不到。

过多的contact并不能减少人们的孤独,相反,会觉得更加孤单了。我们把人际建立在某个虚幻的时空之中。

如果我不上网,关掉手机,就仿佛从来没有这个人的存在过。

我喜欢面对面的交谈,或者从远方给某个关心在乎的人寄一张手写的明信片。

我想看到你的脸,而不是对着冰冷的电脑。我想听到你的声音,而不只是看不到情绪的打字。

我想拥抱到你温暖的身体,而不只是一个hug的表情。

我们相处的时候,也许我愿意to be still in your silence,静静地相对只是不说话,可是这也胜过了在网络上的千言万语。

所以,这是一个孤寂星球。lonely planet

Posted by  at  2010-10-26 21:30:00 | Read More  |  Edit | Comments(0) | Trackback(0)



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